He says they are just friends, but he's mine.


Dear Alexis,
            This girl likes my boyfriend, she's made that obvious. She knows he has a girlfriend and continues to flirt with him. He said they're just friends but it's evident she wants more out of it. He's a really nice guy and can't be mean to her. Should I speak my mind to her? I realize my boyfriend is absolutely adorable but that doesn't mean she can have him. He's mine. How can he tell her nicely to back off?
-Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
            Being in a relationship you are faced with many obstacles, one of which would be other people flirting with your significant other. This is a problem many people have and I'm very glad you asked this question. The major red flag that went up for me is the part where you say that he, himself, has told you they are just friends but then later in the question you ask if you talk to her yourself; the answer is no. When faced with a problem like this, many women feel the need to step in and the whole situation gets worse. Have a talk with your boyfriend about the problem and ask him what he thinks about it. The problem to me doesn't seem as if the other girl is the issue but more that your hold on him is too tight. Words like, "mine," are signs of possession and feeling as if you should step into any type of relationship he has with someone else. This type of hold in a relationship can backfire and your partner will retaliate, meaning that he/she will go off and find people to have fun with without being told what they can or can't do. Another reason could be insecurity or trust issues with yourself and your boyfriend. Do you feel the need to step in because you’re insecure about yourself? Do you trust your boyfriend around other girls? Instead of confronting the other girl talk to your boyfriend and work it out with him. 

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