Ask Alexis

Dear Alexis,                 My ex-boyfriend has recently come back into my life and has changed my look on life again. What can I do to stop thinking about getting back with him? -Anonymous Dear Anonymous,                 Exes are the test of any relationship, whether the relationship is within you or with someone else. I would suggest that instead of asking how you can stop thinking about him, you should be more on the lines of, “How can I push my feelings to the side.” Obviously pushing your feelings to the side isn’t going to help you get over your ex-boyfriend, nor is it going to make him disappear; you’re going to do steps that’ll help you remember why you were fine without him. One thing that exes love to do is come back and make you feel like you need them to be happy, when in reality, you don’t. The best way to get ove...

Dear Alexis,                 Today my friends made fun of me because I am single. Is it bad to be single? -Anonymous Dear Anonymous,                 There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Many people will be single throughout their whole lives because they choose to be. You should tell your friends that you didn't appreciate them making fun of you, because it’s perfectly fine to be single. When the time is right, you’ll find someone who will make you want to be, not-so-single. Enjoy your life however you choose. If you’re destined to be in a relationship, you’ll know when the time comes. Have fun!

Dear Alexis,             I really like this boy but he has a girlfriend. He’s been talking to me like I’m his girlfriend so it is super hard to not like him. How do I get him to be my boyfriend? -Anonymous Dear Anonymous,             It seems like what we have here is a cheater. If he’s flirting with you and treating you like his girlfriend while he’s already in a relationship, he’ll do the same thing to you. I think that instead of getting your mind set on how to make him yours, you should set your mind to how to make him stop. When people talk to other people outside of their relationship in a way that seems to be more than just good friends, they are seeking attention. Now, this doesn’t mean they aren’t getting attention from their partner, it just means that when they are apart from their partner they need someone else to fulfill the hole in which their partner u...

Dear Alexis,             I've been spending a couple months trying to fix and help someone who needs to be helped. He keeps going downhill and nothing good is coming out of it. What can I do to fix him? -Anonymous Dear Anonymous,             Throughout your lifetime you’ll be faced with people who have troubled pasts; sometimes you’ll be able to help them but you’ll never be able to “fix” them. With people, especially people so close to us, we feel like it’s our job to fix them when in reality, there’s no way we ever can. I could give you advice on methods you could use in hope that you’ll help him, but that would be a waste of your time and mine. When people don’t want to be helped, they will make sure they don’t get helped. Now for what you can do; be there for him. If you were going down a dark path, you’d want people to be there for you. Talk things out with him. You can’t fix ...

Dear Alexis,                 So this guy and I have been on a couple of dates, and I feel like I could potentially have a relationship with him, but I don't think he is ready to commit to anyone. Should I talk to him about it or just wait and see how things go? -Anonymous Dear Anonymous,                 Unfortunately, you won’t know if he is ready for a commitment unless you ask him. When you’re faced with a situation like this, waiting it out can be the toughest and longest part of the whole process. While others may choose the path of waiting, you might not be as patient as others. Asking is the best way to go when you’re confused about a relationship. I suggest going out on a few more dates and once you feel comfortable with asking him if he’s planning on, or even has thought about, a committed relationship with you, y...

Dear Alexis,  My girlfriend is treating me badly lately and she won’t say why. It's making me feel bad. What do I do?   Dear Anonymous,  As people we tend to take our pain and hurt out on the people we love the most when something unexpected happens in our lives. Change, abuse, anything big or small can make people act differently; and as the important person in their life, it is up to us to make them feel better. Now, this doesn't mean jump down her throat and demand an answer out of her, it means that you should stay by her side and remind her that you are there to listen to whatever may be bothering her. You should absolutely tell her how her attitude is affecting your relationship and how she's not treating you right. Talk to her about the way she is feeling and remind her that you'll help in any way you can, but also tell her how it's not fair to you. Remember; communication is key.