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“You owe yourself the love that you so freely give to other people.”

If I have learned anything in my 21 years of life, it is to NEVER take yourself for granted. Never belittle yourself to the point of emptiness and never bury yourself in so many “what ifs” that you lose sight in what is most important – you. Positivity is so important in my day to day life. I like to turn someone’s bad morning into an “it’ll get better because the sun is shining” kind of day. I tend to make jokes to someone who I know is hurting deep inside because in that tiny moment, I know they can just breathe. These are important moments in my life and to have the optimistic mindset is a blessing to me. The only problem is when I am faced with myself. I can look at the most pitiful flower and see the beauty, I can look at the rain falling from the sky and get teary eyed, and I can see the love in the eyes of an enemy but I cannot convince myself that I am worth it. Struggling with inner love is a feeling that, like myself, people hide all the time. Males, females, moth...
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Why do people act differently?

Dear Alexis,                 Why are people so different around different groups of people? -Anonymous Dear Anonymous,                 When growing up you are learning the ways that people interact with each other and you experience these interactions your whole life. You learn how to respect the ones older than you, level with the kids younger than you, and be civil with the ones that you can’t stand to be around. We all experience a variety of people throughout our lifetimes and we learn how to juggle the different groups of people. Whether you’re in your teenage years, your early thirties, or late seventies, you’ll always be in contact tons of people who are completely different. You’re going to know the popular kids who have had everything handed to them since they were babies, the jocks who have and always will be obsessed...
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Why hasn't he called me?

Dear Alexis,                 We went on a date but he didn't call me back? What happened? -Anonymous Dear Anonymous,                 When you’re in the dating world you have to accept the pros and cons that go along with dating. Sometimes you’ll go out and have a fabulous date but other times your date might be a dud. The most important thing about going out on dates is that you can’t let a dud date get you down.                 When going out on a date you’re going out with someone fairly new to you and this is a time to get to know them. If your date doesn’t call you back it doesn’t necessarily mean that you did something wrong or that the date was just utterly awful, it could mean that the connection wasn’t as solid as your date, or you, were hoping...
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Boyfriends and Facebook

Dear Alexis,           I have gotten addicted to following my boyfriend's activities on Facebook. I asked him about a new girl he had just added and it caused a lot of trouble between us. He's stopped using Facebook because of my questions and I feel bad about it. I trust him but for some reason I have doubts when I see him friend girls that I don't know. The girl that I mentioned ended up being his cousin. I felt like a stupid stalker! I don't think anything on Facebook should be considered private but is this true when it is a boy/girl friend? Is it  OK  to talk about what my boyfriend posts? How do I enjoy Facebook again and stop feeling and acting like a stalker? Dear Anonymous,           Facebook as well as any social networking site are meant for you to see and comment on what other people post. With social networking sites being so public, it’s almost natural for you to se...
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How young is too young?

Dear Alexis,                 I like this boy who is younger than me but I don’t know if we could date because of this age. What do I do? -Amy Dear Amy,                Several of my recent questions have been about dating and if the age has any effect on the relationship; my answer to all of these questions have been that age should not matter if the connection is there. Now, if the person is so young or old that you’ll get in legal trouble, then I advise for you to reevaluate the relationship. If the connection is a solid connection, then he being younger than you shouldn’t be a big problem. How much younger is he exactly? Is it illegal for you two to even be dating? Unfortunately with younger dating, you’ll always be faced with the illegal issue. The best thing you can do is to think about if the age is too young to where it would be a problem and if it would be,...
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Can you even give advice?

Dear Alexis,                 How old are you to be giving advice? Didn’t you just get your driver’s license? Just curious. -Pamela Dear Pamela,                 I think that your question is a question many people might have. If you have read any columns from Ask Alexis, you’ll see that the target audience seems to be for teenagers only but if you read on and look around you at the different aged couples, you’ll see that my advice can be given to anyone of any age. I don’t believe that my age has anything to do with my advice except that I can give a fresh perspective on the dating world of anyone of any age. Is all my advice accurate and can be proven to work out exactly how it’s planned? No. I encourage you and anyone else who is stumped by their curiosity to take my advice with an open mind and email me with their questions-j...
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Should I change to please him?

Dear Alexis,  My boyfriend seems to like blonde haired girls more than me. Should I change my hair to blonde? -Help Dear Help,  One thing I will always stick to is that you should never change yourself to please someone else. If you go through a change, you want it to be for you and no one else. Everyone has their turn-ons and turn-offs, and his may be a blonde haired woman. That doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t like your hair color. Your boyfriend is with you for a reason and that reason should be overrule the fact that a blonde haired woman catches his eye every now and then. You definitely shouldn’t change your hair color or anything about you if YOU won’t be satisfied by the change. I wouldn’t let his turn-on affect you unless it is becoming a problem in your relationship. Sit him down and talk to him about it. Communication in this type of situation is always key.  
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