Boyfriends and Facebook

Dear Alexis,
          I have gotten addicted to following my boyfriend's activities on Facebook. I asked him about a new girl he had just added and it caused a lot of trouble between us. He's stopped using Facebook because of my questions and I feel bad about it. I trust him but for some reason I have doubts when I see him friend girls that I don't know. The girl that I mentioned ended up being his cousin. I felt like a stupid stalker! I don't think anything on Facebook should be considered private but is this true when it is a boy/girl friend? Is it OK to talk about what my boyfriend posts? How do I enjoy Facebook again and stop feeling and acting like a stalker?

Dear Anonymous,
          Facebook as well as any social networking site are meant for you to see and comment on what other people post. With social networking sites being so public, it’s almost natural for you to see something you won’t particularly agree with. Nothing is private neither on the internet nor in a close relationship so to answer your question about a private Facebook for girlfriend/boyfriends; no. It is absolutely fine to talk about your boyfriend’s posts on Facebook just as it is fine for him to do the same for your posts.
          You said that with you questioning him on his new friends made things weird between you two, it is most definitely because you questioned his activities. If you’re addicted to following your boyfriend’s posts then question him about the posts, the problem is not within your boyfriend but more within yourself. Relationships need trust and of course reassurance but in this case, the trust factor doesn’t exist so you’re forced to feed on reassurance. You have stopped using Facebook and your boyfriend has stopped using Facebook because of something silly that has been made up in your head. Talk to your boyfriend about your actions and see what his response is. Instead of running him off of his facebook account, take some time off of your Facebook and spend more time doing things off of the internet. Remember, face to face conversation will always help when you see something fishy on a social networking site; conversation is key.

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