So I have known this boy for a long time now. We dated once but he has a girlfriend now. And I think I might be in love with him. What should I do?
Confused lover girl.
Dear Confused lover girl,
The thing that stands out the most for me, is the fact that he has a girlfriend. When the person you have feelings for has a boyfriend/girlfriend, that's a major block in your path but also a major sign to stop in your tracks. The last thing you ever want to do is try to come between him and his girlfriend, because that will just cause drama between you, his girlfriend, and most likely even your friendship with him. Now, for what you can do, you can always talk it out with him, but sometimes that leaves you with an outcome you weren't expecting. The thing that also sticks out to me though, is when you say you might be in love with him. You can't really be in love with him, unless you spend a lot of time together, and connect in ways you don't normally connect with other people. Do you think that maybe you're in love with the idea of being in love and since you had a past with him, you're building an unreal relationship with what you two had in the past? Love is tricky, and you really have to play your cards right in order to, well, "win." There isn't a lot you can do in this situation, but to keep your options open. Is there a chance that if you talk it out with him he'll feel the same way and break up with his girlfriend for you? Well, yes, but the probability of that is not very high. The thing that would be best and that I would recommend to do is to talk it out with him, and try to push your feelings aside to make room for the next boy who will come into your life sooner or later. If he isn't with you now, it doesn't mean you aren't good enough or that there isn't anyone out there, it's because something/someone way better is trying to find their way to you, and if you are caught up with an old flame, the new flame won't be able to find their way to you.
Confused lover girl.
Dear Confused lover girl,
The thing that stands out the most for me, is the fact that he has a girlfriend. When the person you have feelings for has a boyfriend/girlfriend, that's a major block in your path but also a major sign to stop in your tracks. The last thing you ever want to do is try to come between him and his girlfriend, because that will just cause drama between you, his girlfriend, and most likely even your friendship with him. Now, for what you can do, you can always talk it out with him, but sometimes that leaves you with an outcome you weren't expecting. The thing that also sticks out to me though, is when you say you might be in love with him. You can't really be in love with him, unless you spend a lot of time together, and connect in ways you don't normally connect with other people. Do you think that maybe you're in love with the idea of being in love and since you had a past with him, you're building an unreal relationship with what you two had in the past? Love is tricky, and you really have to play your cards right in order to, well, "win." There isn't a lot you can do in this situation, but to keep your options open. Is there a chance that if you talk it out with him he'll feel the same way and break up with his girlfriend for you? Well, yes, but the probability of that is not very high. The thing that would be best and that I would recommend to do is to talk it out with him, and try to push your feelings aside to make room for the next boy who will come into your life sooner or later. If he isn't with you now, it doesn't mean you aren't good enough or that there isn't anyone out there, it's because something/someone way better is trying to find their way to you, and if you are caught up with an old flame, the new flame won't be able to find their way to you.
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