He still wants to be with her. What do I do?


Dear Alexis,
My boyfriend and I have been together for a long time. From about 7th grade until our senior year, but we have major trust issues. We broke up for a while last year and dated other people; sometimes I still get the feeling that he wants to be with her instead of me. How do I tell him how I'm feeling without being accusatory?
-Anonymous


Dear anonymous,
One of the keys to being in a successful relationship is trust and since you both have trust issues, I can see where you’d get the idea of him thinking you’re being accusatory. Has he given you any reason to think that he would rather be with her than you? If he has, address that situation and go from there. There’s no way to know exactly what he’ll say or think so the best way to tell him is just by being honest. Start off by telling him that you have feelings for him but you’re curious if he still have feelings for the girl he dated when you two weren't together. If he gets upset, he’ll get upset; there’s no way in stopping that. Approach the conversation in a calm tone and let him know how you feel about him and the whole situation. If you make yourself sound accusatory, he’ll think that you are accusing him. Be honest and tell him why you feel the way you do. Hopefully your honesty will start a more honest and trustworthy relationship with him.

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