Does he see me as a younger sibling or more?


Dear Alexis,
          I know you must get a lot of these but I really need some boy advice. I really like this guy that I work with, but the thing is there is a good five years between us. Just to clear things up I am 18. The thing is though; I really think he could be the one for me. The timing however is the worst. We are at totally different stages in our lives and soon he'll be gone. I really don't want him to be gone though. I already feel so connected to him, you know? We're both friend zoned a lot for being 'too nice' and I've opened up to him about my most recent time being friend zoned. He said that I was cute and funny, along with a few other things...but does he just see me as a younger sister? I really want to know how he feels about me without being too obvious. I've just been friend zoned so much I don't think I could take it from him. What should I do?
-Nice Girl

Dear Nice Girl,
          I have always said that being good friends is a great backbone for any relationship; given that you feel connected to him and can tell him a lot about you, you two should be able to work something out. You’re curious as to if he sees you as a younger sister; this is a difficult thing to seek out because you don’t want to come out and say you have feelings for him and lose him, but you also don’t want to miss out on, what could be, a great relationship. You can go about this several different ways. The most obvious one would to just ask him if he likes you or if he sees you more as a younger sibling. Another fun but risky way to go about the situation would be to set yourself up for flirtation. For example, when you two are laughing and playing around make flirty side comments such as; ‘you’d be a great boyfriend; I bet you’ve had tons of girlfriends; oh if only we were dating.’ This technique may sound weird and too flirty but if you find the perfect time to say it, it’ll make sense. For the distance part, this is where you two would have to talk about contacting each other while he’s away. Together or not, communication will keep you two close throughout the time he is gone. The age between you two could be a good reason, or excuse; however you see it, as to why he wouldn’t want to take your friendship to another level. Yes, there is always the possibility of him only seeing you as a little sister, but then again, you want him in your life regardless of the title you two have, right? If the timing seems right I recommend you tell him how you feel before he leaves; if the timing doesn’t seem right save it for a time when he comes back. No one is rushing you into telling him how you feel; do what you think will be best. If you two are meant to be, it will all come together. Have faith and follow your heart.

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